I don’t have words for how you make me feel, so I won’t try to be poetic with it, but you are, what would be, if my dreams merged with reality. You will surface in my mind at some given time and I will stop what I am doing and smile. My stomach will get butterflies and my mind will have a temporary visit from bliss. Even on the worst of days your face is a glimmering beacon of light for me.
I wanted to let you know how appreciative I am of you, mi amor.
i realized that you are what I’ve been wanting for so long. you are amazing in every way possible, and it drove me nuts for a while, but now I’ve come to terms with it and if it means it has to be platonic then it’s ok i don’t mind as long as you are happy and i am happy. One day we will meet each other again.
OK, so I’m an idiot, you’ve been the only person for whom I’ve felt something and who has made me feel happy in the past 5 years, and I freak out and run at the first chance I get.
I hope this isn’t coming out of the blue for you cause then I really failed.
Part of it was that I was afraid to lose friends if things didn’t work out between us. And I felt that was possible because somehow you’re a mystery to me….. That’s also certainly part of your appeal. I was also ashamed of trying to date and then rejecting your friend before we went out, it made me feel like I was somehow a womanizer just jumping from one to the other till I got one, not really relationship material.
But the real reason starts when seven years ago I fell for someone really hard, I thought she was it, I thought I would never be with someone else, and she left me. At first I waited for her to come back, then I was just really afraid to be hurt again.
But now I’ve been alone for the past five years. It was very hard at first but I worked through it, and from the hardship I was able to get better, more balanced, and find a level of happiness I had never had before while being alone. It scares me to lose the balance, stability and happiness I worked for so hard. I’m afraid that adding a new factor might screw up the equation, that surrendering that bit of control will screw me up again.
Now I’m afraid to not be alone.
Still I miss you very much, every time I see you I don’t know what to say, or how to behave and I can only gaze upon you and think of how I’d like to share my time with you again.
Never thought it would be so difficult trying to forget you.
But I have to, and it breaks my heart.
Ever since I met you I was in awe.
When I got to know you, the real you, it was exactly what I dreamed you where like. I felt like I was in this bubble, and everything was perfect.
Now, I’m afraid to talk to you because it hurts, but I would really love to talk to you again about anything.
You have your own life and I have my own; but i would feel better if you where in mine.
I can’t sleep well, I cant think straight, I’ve been a complete mess but I’m slowly trying to get better.
I dont know what else to say, I just wanted to let you know that I miss you.
me acordaba de ti en estos días, y en cómo estará la niña. ya no me has enviado fotos nuevas de ella y de tu chica para ver si su crecimiento logra decirme a quién de los dos se parece más.
yo sigo, probablemente al igual que tú, navegando de un día a otro con el cuerpo casi siempre anclado a una silla de oficina.
espero que tener una familia se sienta tan alentador como uno merece que sea, y que sigas escribiendo, y encontrando momentos para tus fotos, que mejor que eso no se está, mejores aires no se respiran.
cuando regrese nos veremos. mientras tanto, sigo teniendo mis mejores deseos para vos desde acá.
I became attracted to her the first day I saw her, and I let it slip just because I thought she was “just another pretty outer shell”. As time passes by, and I got to know her more, I became more interested in her, realizing that there’s more than meets the eye. Now i’m falling for her, wanting her more and more each day. I don’t know what’s going to happen, let alone know if she feels anything towards me. But what I know is that, she has a beautiful mind, and I heart her because of that. I’m sorry. I truly am.
But I can’t help it.
i put one eye in the open end of a beer bottle. i tilt it upwards and look at the computer screen. theres still a little bit of beer left. i should drink it.
I’ve procrastinated at writing this for six months now. I don’t know why. It’s really much easier than I thought it was going to be. I guess it’s because I don’t really have anything to say. I guess that is what I was afraid of. My deepest fears have come true, I’m not as deep as I thought. I guess that is a good thing though. In a few hours I am going to go to sleep.
Yo no hice nada para recuperarte. De repente, aqui estas: acaparador, enorme, asfixiante como siempre. En todas partes. Una vez más. Suelo tenerlo todo para perderlo. Hay algo de vértigo en la cuerda floja. He perdido, pierdo mucho. Rabia. Consuela saber que la vida no es como el mar, usualmente no retorna lo perdido. Al menos no con el mismo rostro. O el mismo olor.
Contra toda predicción, regresas. Idéntico. Amorosamente idéntico. Conservas la mirada, la palabra precisa. Y tus manos. Una vez más, tus manos.
Me sorprende. Me sorprendo. Esperando encontrarte en cada esquina. Contando los adoquines que faltan para volverte a ver. Casi extrañandote. Juego con la nostalgia. Como si ya no estuvieras apareciendo. Como si no te encontrara en el café, en la almohada, en el espejo.
Y me sobran las ganas para destrozar la taza, revolver la cama, quebrar el espejo. No estabas supuesto a volver. No así. Impune. Y de nuevo la rabia. Acompañada del terror que provoca el retorno (y la recriminación, y la culpa, y la verguenza) No la tuya, la mía. La Rabia. Haz regresado, total e inexorable. Eres tu, de nuevo. Y regresas cargado del temor a perderte, de una vez.
save her, forgive her. you belong to each other even if she’s sleeping with everyone else.
Hi Quicktime,
I am going to use my language.
你他馬的是怎樣…甚麼時候不挑, 挑今天, 給你爸爸我記住,
下次我要render四個codec, 你在放不出來, 你就倒楣了, 馬的逼!
You are so dead, you are 2PAC!!!
Peace,
One Man
a.c-b.,
I don’t have words for how you make me feel, so I won’t try to be poetic with it, but you are, what would be, if my dreams merged with reality. You will surface in my mind at some given time and I will stop what I am doing and smile. My stomach will get butterflies and my mind will have a temporary visit from bliss. Even on the worst of days your face is a glimmering beacon of light for me.
I wanted to let you know how appreciative I am of you, mi amor.
con <3,
mi
i realized that you are what I’ve been wanting for so long. you are amazing in every way possible, and it drove me nuts for a while, but now I’ve come to terms with it and if it means it has to be platonic then it’s ok i don’t mind as long as you are happy and i am happy. One day we will meet each other again.
OK, so I’m an idiot, you’ve been the only person for whom I’ve felt something and who has made me feel happy in the past 5 years, and I freak out and run at the first chance I get.
I hope this isn’t coming out of the blue for you cause then I really failed.
Part of it was that I was afraid to lose friends if things didn’t work out between us. And I felt that was possible because somehow you’re a mystery to me….. That’s also certainly part of your appeal. I was also ashamed of trying to date and then rejecting your friend before we went out, it made me feel like I was somehow a womanizer just jumping from one to the other till I got one, not really relationship material.
But the real reason starts when seven years ago I fell for someone really hard, I thought she was it, I thought I would never be with someone else, and she left me. At first I waited for her to come back, then I was just really afraid to be hurt again.
But now I’ve been alone for the past five years. It was very hard at first but I worked through it, and from the hardship I was able to get better, more balanced, and find a level of happiness I had never had before while being alone. It scares me to lose the balance, stability and happiness I worked for so hard. I’m afraid that adding a new factor might screw up the equation, that surrendering that bit of control will screw me up again.
Now I’m afraid to not be alone.
Still I miss you very much, every time I see you I don’t know what to say, or how to behave and I can only gaze upon you and think of how I’d like to share my time with you again.
Never thought it would be so difficult trying to forget you.
But I have to, and it breaks my heart.
Ever since I met you I was in awe.
When I got to know you, the real you, it was exactly what I dreamed you where like. I felt like I was in this bubble, and everything was perfect.
Now, I’m afraid to talk to you because it hurts, but I would really love to talk to you again about anything.
You have your own life and I have my own; but i would feel better if you where in mine.
I can’t sleep well, I cant think straight, I’ve been a complete mess but I’m slowly trying to get better.
I dont know what else to say, I just wanted to let you know that I miss you.
Me había sido concedido el poder de borrar a alguien, de sacar un cuerpo de su tumba y hacerlo pedazos.
querida:
ya no hace falta escribir más cartas de amor, se pierden en el aire.
-ch
me acordaba de ti en estos días, y en cómo estará la niña. ya no me has enviado fotos nuevas de ella y de tu chica para ver si su crecimiento logra decirme a quién de los dos se parece más.
yo sigo, probablemente al igual que tú, navegando de un día a otro con el cuerpo casi siempre anclado a una silla de oficina.
espero que tener una familia se sienta tan alentador como uno merece que sea, y que sigas escribiendo, y encontrando momentos para tus fotos, que mejor que eso no se está, mejores aires no se respiran.
cuando regrese nos veremos. mientras tanto, sigo teniendo mis mejores deseos para vos desde acá.
p.d. de seguro llego antes que ariel
Rebecca,
Tu colecta de cartas ha sido lo único capaz de ayudarme a volver a escribir.
Todas mis gracias son, y serán tuyas, ahora y cada vez que una persona lea esto.
Dear X,
I became attracted to her the first day I saw her, and I let it slip just because I thought she was “just another pretty outer shell”. As time passes by, and I got to know her more, I became more interested in her, realizing that there’s more than meets the eye. Now i’m falling for her, wanting her more and more each day. I don’t know what’s going to happen, let alone know if she feels anything towards me. But what I know is that, she has a beautiful mind, and I heart her because of that. I’m sorry. I truly am.
But I can’t help it.
i put one eye in the open end of a beer bottle. i tilt it upwards and look at the computer screen. theres still a little bit of beer left. i should drink it.
thank you for your cooperation.
unfortunately, I’m too nice to say: fuck you, got to hell and let me be.
i am lost and miserable
I’ve procrastinated at writing this for six months now. I don’t know why. It’s really much easier than I thought it was going to be. I guess it’s because I don’t really have anything to say. I guess that is what I was afraid of. My deepest fears have come true, I’m not as deep as I thought. I guess that is a good thing though. In a few hours I am going to go to sleep.
Yo no hice nada para recuperarte. De repente, aqui estas: acaparador, enorme, asfixiante como siempre. En todas partes. Una vez más. Suelo tenerlo todo para perderlo. Hay algo de vértigo en la cuerda floja. He perdido, pierdo mucho. Rabia. Consuela saber que la vida no es como el mar, usualmente no retorna lo perdido. Al menos no con el mismo rostro. O el mismo olor.
Contra toda predicción, regresas. Idéntico. Amorosamente idéntico. Conservas la mirada, la palabra precisa. Y tus manos. Una vez más, tus manos.
Me sorprende. Me sorprendo. Esperando encontrarte en cada esquina. Contando los adoquines que faltan para volverte a ver. Casi extrañandote. Juego con la nostalgia. Como si ya no estuvieras apareciendo. Como si no te encontrara en el café, en la almohada, en el espejo.
Y me sobran las ganas para destrozar la taza, revolver la cama, quebrar el espejo. No estabas supuesto a volver. No así. Impune. Y de nuevo la rabia. Acompañada del terror que provoca el retorno (y la recriminación, y la culpa, y la verguenza) No la tuya, la mía. La Rabia. Haz regresado, total e inexorable. Eres tu, de nuevo. Y regresas cargado del temor a perderte, de una vez.
Temo al mar.
Esta cuerda dice uu u uuu uuuu
Esta cuerda dice aa a aaa aaaa
Esta cuerda dice rr r rrr rrrr
Esta cuerda dice yyyyyyyyyaaaa
:)